PASS THE "CATCH-UP"

I can not believe it has been six months since I have been on here! Our lives in retirement are more full than I could have ever imagined. Being heavily involved at church, doing ministry, chores and pursuing our interests and hobbies, leaves little idle time. We are in full blown spring here at the Mountainview Hideaway, with all of our snow having melted, I've been working in the yard and flowerbed, and soon we will be burning brush that Dave is clearing.I thoroughly enjoy spring in Montana. Goodness, I enjoy EVERY season in Montana!

It's been over eight months since my Papa went home to Jesus. I miss him but I am overjoyed that he is with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and no longer held hostage by the limitations of his 94 year-old body. Dave and I are fully recovered from our three shoulder surgeries last year (two for him and one for me.) We enjoyed the Christmas holidays and all the joy of the season. I flew back to St Louis for a week to visit with my father whose health is declining, although he is holding his own for the time being.

Laura and I went to the "WOVEN" conference at our church in February, and later that month, Dave and I spent the weekend in Missoula so we could attend the official opening of our church plant there. In March, Dave and I had an overnight getaway at Quinn's Hot Springs, just the two of us and then later that month, we took our annual pilgrimage to Freezeout Lake so he could photograph the waterfowl migration. We just wrapped up our study of Galatians with our small group and I have one just more week left of Bible Study Fellowship before we break until Autumn. Soon, we will head down to Yellowstone for some more photography opportunities for Dave.

Hope to not let so much time pass before I am on here again.

FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS

When I began Bible Study Fellowship in the Fall of 2017, we studied my favorite book of the New Testament, Romans. During our small group time of answering the questions, we began talking about the state of the world. We began to share our thoughts of how society as a whole and America specifically, were abandoning the Bible and its moral absolutes, definitely a downer. (Seven years later it's even more predominant, but that's a blog for a different day.) In our small group, we have a wide range of ages, from gray-haired women like myself, to moms of littles. One of the older ladies commented how she felt badly for young moms having to raise their children in today's culture of ever-increasing hostility towards Christians. One of the young moms said boldly, "Oh no, don't feel badly for me because, like Queen Esther, my children were born for such a time as this." That bold statement sucked the air out of the room and humbled us older, "wiser" women; to this day, I can feel the impact of her statement and it stirs in my spirit.

Queen Esther wasn't always a queen, she was a young Jewish woman who was being raised by her uncle Mordecai after the death of her parents. She was plucked from obscurity and became the wife of King Ahasuerus of Persia, but she never disclosed that she was a Jew. With all the intrigue of a modern day soap opera, there are elements of envy, ruthlessness and ambition as one man in particular, Haaman, whom the King has elevated to prominance, plots against the Jews, issuing a pogram. When the date of the execution of all the Jews had been set, Mordecai told Esther that she alone can change the mind of the King. He tells her, "Perhaps you were born for such a time as this." Esther 4:14. God granted favor to Esther, she approaches the King and reveals that she is a Jew. By the book's conclusion, Haaman has been dealt with, Mordecai has been elevated, and the Nation of Israel has been saved. One woman dared to seek God, ask for His favor and then was bold to stand for what is right. To this day, Purim is celebrated as a day of rememberence when the Jews were delivered.

Fast forward to this year, and in Bible Study Fellowship we are studying the book of Revelation. Rather than attempt to predict a timeline for future events, we are focusing on the supremacy of Christ. However, you can't help but compare the warnings issued to the churches, to the times we live in today. Throw in an election year and a lot of people I know, are feeling very anxious. Yesterday, the verse from Esther popped into my head once again and I remembered the bold statement that young mom made years ago. I've always related to this story as to how it applies to my children raising our grandchildren, but suddenly the Holy Spirit revealed to me that I am included in this as well. I've been true and consistent in everyday matters, but I never saw myself as being placed at this moment in time, for a specific reason. As long as I am on this earth, God has a purpose and a calling for me as well, when it comes to standing up for the things of God. I'm not disconnected or a spectator of this life and its current events, but rather, I'm on the front line of a spiritual battle.

How blessed we are, that we do not fight our battles alone. Jehovah Nissi, "The Lord is our banner", goes before us and fights for us. Regardless of what goes on in the world around us, God does not tell us to stand idly by and accept the ever-increasing godlessness around us. Over and over, we are told to "stand firm", and never let go of our faith, our hope and our trust. Grounded in the Living, Unchanging, Omnipotent God, we have nothing to fear. I know that God is in control of who is in control.

REARVIEW

It has been a bit since I last blogged, a lot going on in my life. I am still processing all the emotions of my Papa going home to Jesus, the sadness of missing him but also the joy I feel for him, knowing that he is with Jesus. Autumn, in all of it's golden brilliance is vividly on display and soon a blanket of white, with all of its stillness, will settle over the landscape. I too am in the Autumn season of life and I am content.

I had my shoulder surgery on September 19th, the day after my 64th birthday. It went well, they were able to use "me" to reattach everything rather than cadaver tissue. The first 5 days were pretty rough. The nerve block took 27 hours to wear off and I had an anesthesia headache the entire time. The pain was very manageable, I was off the pain killers after 4 days but I had to have the doctor prescribe some anti-nausea medication since I dealt with nausea and vomiting those first 5 days. I slept a lot or laid around, because the room was always spinning. Through it all, I still had some very basic passive PT exercises that I had to do, with Dave's help. Before I had the surgery, I remember thinking about whether I wanted to go forward with it. The practical answer would be, of course you should, but the impractical side tries to convince you to settle with your limitations. After seeing Dave go through 2 rotator cuff surgeries this year, I had a real life example and foreknowledge, that this wouldn't be a walk in the park, it would require real work on my part.

I am now 3 weeks post-op, have had my first doctor's appointment and have begun Physical Therapy. My Therapist told me on Thursday that he's very pleased with my range of motion already. I still have some discomfort and continue to sleep in the recliner but I'm able to take the sling off for periods of time and do some everyday activities that you take for granted. I just finished writing a bunch of thank you cards and have been able to stay current with my Bible Study Fellowship work. Iam looking forward to a full return of the things that I enjoy doing. I only have 3 more weeks of the sling but then the real PT begins. Sigh...

I'm thankful for the blessings of security I have, even in the difficult days."The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge."

2 Samuel 22:2-3

GOODBYES

Time is a gift. How we use that gift determines if we live a life filled with regrets or live a life filled with peace and contentment. Two days after my last entry, my 94 year old Papa went home to be with the Lord. I rejoice for him but I hurt for myself and my family. We flew back to St Louis a week ago to celebrate his homegoing. The Lord gave me hope and strength to say goodbye to the man who welcomed me into his life and more importantly, into his heart, 54 years ago. I cherish all of the memories from my childhood and right up until the day he died. After my mom died 13 years ago, my resolve was that he knew that I loved him for who he was, and for the love he had always given to myself and my family so generously. I never wanted him to think that Mom was the only reason for our relationship or to question my love and loyalty once she was gone. I wanted him to know he was a priority and never an afterthought.

Intentionality requires sacrifice. You set aside your own wants and desires to meet the needs of others. Jesus is our best example of sacrifice and intentionality. I miss the standard over and over but once in a while, I get it right. It's usually short-lived, given my sin nature, but God never stops giving me opportunities to try again. Initially, at the visitation seeing my Papa in the casket, jolted me into the reality that there weren't going to be any more new memories with him, I would have to rely on my lifetime of memories, to bring me comfort. After the initial shock, as all of us shared stories and memories, comfort and hope saturated me and gave me strength. It wasn't until we got to the National Cemetery, that my emotions spilled over. My Papa, proud Scotsman and Army veteran got a beautiful (but rushed) send off. They have a lot of funerals each day, and so their pavillion shelters are in a constant state of use. I found someone to play the bagpipes before, during, and after his service. The bagpipes, along with full Military honors, will always be etched in my memory. Another is our 5 year old grand-daughter waving and saying "Goodbye Opi" from the back of the room.

Time moves forward, irregardless of our feelings or state of mind. We got back home after midnight Friday night and I have found myself physically and emotionally drained. I know that it's normal and I will need time to begin healing. What a blessing that Jehovah Rapha Himself, is our healer and our peace, in all things.

IN THE MOMENT

Summer is waning in Montana. The days of August are cooler and the evenings are requiring sweaters once again. Soon, Autumn, my favorite time of the year will be here and I can't wait! I've observed that so much of our lives are spent looking ahead to the next thing rather than savoring the current path that we're on. I'm guilty of that. When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to be an adult and run my own life. I blinked my eyes and suddenly I am almost 64 years old and am now considered a senior citizen. As a young mom, I thought my days were exhaustingly long and I looked forward to a time when my children were a little more independent. I blinked my eyes and found that they were all grown up and living lives of their own. I looked forward to our retirement years when it would be just the 2 of us, having more time to do all the things we wanted to do. I blinked my eyes and it's been almost 8 years now since we retired to Montana. Our days are filled to overflowing, with chores, hobbies, and serving. We serve at our church and do ministry more than I ever thought we would. I don't understand people that retire and are bored, serving Jesus and serving others has given us a fulfillment and a contentment that I never knew was possible.

In Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, it tells us that, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."

I am learning to live more in the moment these days, taking time to not just smell the flowers, but learning what they are called. Maybe it's because there are more days in my rearview mirror than there are ahead of me? I don't think so, I like to believe that the Holy Spirit has filled me with deep contentment; it's the contentment that Paul speaks of in Philippians that is rooted in Christ alone.

I recently bought a book titled, "Holy Hygge". Hygge (HYOO-guh) is a Danish word that conveys the idea of "soul rest", "sanctuary", "comfort", "making the mundane meaningful". In German we would use the word, "Gemutlichkeit". The author takes this concept further with the intent that we are to create spaces where the good news of Jesus is shared and cultivated. As I have been reading this book, I realize that we have been actively living out this idea, as we extend the gift of hospitality to others. As people have stayed with us, my goal has always been that people have felt this to be a sort of retreat and that they leave here refreshed. In the "everyday-ness" of our lives, as we entertain people with a meal, conversation, or games, the goal is that it always be God-honoring. Real ministry happens beyond the Church building on the weekend. It is a shared cup of coffee with a newly widowed friend. It's friendly (and competitive) card games with the neighbors up the street. It's inviting new church visitors for a warm home cooked meal and a chance to share about themselves. It's a lifestyle that is others-oriented, the exact same kind of life that Jesus lived here on this earth and examplified for us to emulate.

"Serving Jesus by serving others" is one of Dave's favorite sayings and it is always reflected in his prayers. Remembering how blessed we are, makes that idea of serving others more natural to try and live out. We are blessed to be a blessing...isn't our Heavenly Father good?!

WHATEVER

In past years, the term, "whatever" has had a negative connotation. The Cambridge dictionary defines it as something that, "doesn't matter, is of no importance". As I continue to grow in my Christian walk, the term "whatever", is becoming more and more the way I respond to things, but not in the negative.

As someone who is wired towards emotional responses, I have lived a lot of my life reacting to situations and having a knee jerk reaction. God in His infinite wisdom, saw fit to yoke me with "Mr Logic & Reason"; in our premarital counseling, we discovered how different we are in the spectrum of emotion and logic, on opposite ends in fact! It took many years for us to balance one other out, each bringing a different perspective on life; I don't immediately react to things and Dave has become more sensitive to other people's feelings.

The Message translation of Philippians 4:8, explains this verse beautifully.

"Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." Philippians 4:8

Some days I am successful in allowing the Holy Spirit to clamp His hand over my mouth giving me time to think twice on how I will respond. On unsuccessful days, my initial reaction is eye rolling and sarcasm. I used to tell our children that "just because you can, doesn't mean you should." This could be applied to many different scenarios, from the clothing you might wear, to the words you speak, to what you post on social media. It is so easy to crush a person's spirit by saying hurtful things. Honesty is important, but so is the delivery of the words you speak. Again, the Message translation from Proverbs, (the book of wisdom), states,

"Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." Proverbs 18:21

In this journey of sanctification, which is a churchy word meaning to become more and more Christ-like, how fitting that the Holy Spirit gently guides and tames our tongues. Our Pastor back in Texas used to say, "God loves us right where we are but He loves us too much to leave us there." If that isn't the blessed life, then I don't know what is!

PRAYER

For so many years, I would say that prayer was not my strong suit, that I wasn't any good at it. I would read James 5:16 which says, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." Immediately, the enemy would say, "WELL, that leaves you out!" I knew how much I had messed up and was as far from righteous as one could be. Then, I would tell myself, "God's going to do what He wants to anyway, so what's the point?" I was actually MISSING the entire point of that verse! I believed that God moving on my behalf, or others I prayed for, was completely dependent upon me!

That was a lie that the enemy had convinced me to believe. Of course, he wanted me to throw up my hands in defeat and think that it's only strong Christians who are the ones God would listen to. I think of all the time I wasted being ineffective in God's kingdom and how I just rolled over and took the lazy way out. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit pointed out something that is the key to James 5:16.

In God's eyes, I am that righteous person! When He sees me, He is looking at the righteousness of Christ that I'm covered in. I'm not standing in my own efforts because they will never measure up, instead, I'm standing in the One who has made me righteous by his death and resurrection. While I was immediately liberated from my carnal thinking, I was also angry with the devil and disappointed in myself that I could be so easily convinced of a lie. I suppose it's why I feel passionate about prayer now!

A few years ago, I read the book, "FERVENT" by Priscilla Shirer and it completely transformed how I look at prayer. Now, I pray Scripture when I go before the Lord. Not only do I worship Him with what Scripture tells us about who He is but I also pray His promises that He has declared over me. I am slowly learning the names of God and I use those titles as I pray. Jehovah Nissi is a favorite, "God is my banner", He fights our battles on our behalf.

I came up with the idea of a prayer wall after seeing the movie, "War Room", a couple of years ago. The door to my craft room over the garage is metal so I purchased magnetic clips and picture frames to attach to it. I have photographs and index notes to remind me to be proactive in my prayer life. My craft room is is my prayer closet; it's where I listen to my praise and worship music, do my Bible Study and intercede for myself and others. I have met with the Lord there more times than I can count, for me it is holy ground.

The Living God meets with me and we fellowship, my life is blessed beyond what I can comprehend!

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18