IN THE MOMENT

Summer is waning in Montana. The days of August are cooler and the evenings are requiring sweaters once again. Soon, Autumn, my favorite time of the year will be here and I can't wait! I've observed that so much of our lives are spent looking ahead to the next thing rather than savoring the current path that we're on. I'm guilty of that. When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to be an adult and run my own life. I blinked my eyes and suddenly I am almost 64 years old and am now considered a senior citizen. As a young mom, I thought my days were exhaustingly long and I looked forward to a time when my children were a little more independent. I blinked my eyes and found that they were all grown up and living lives of their own. I looked forward to our retirement years when it would be just the 2 of us, having more time to do all the things we wanted to do. I blinked my eyes and it's been almost 8 years now since we retired to Montana. Our days are filled to overflowing, with chores, hobbies, and serving. We serve at our church and do ministry more than I ever thought we would. I don't understand people that retire and are bored, serving Jesus and serving others has given us a fulfillment and a contentment that I never knew was possible.

In Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, it tells us that, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace."

I am learning to live more in the moment these days, taking time to not just smell the flowers, but learning what they are called. Maybe it's because there are more days in my rearview mirror than there are ahead of me? I don't think so, I like to believe that the Holy Spirit has filled me with deep contentment; it's the contentment that Paul speaks of in Philippians that is rooted in Christ alone.

I recently bought a book titled, "Holy Hygge". Hygge (HYOO-guh) is a Danish word that conveys the idea of "soul rest", "sanctuary", "comfort", "making the mundane meaningful". In German we would use the word, "Gemutlichkeit". The author takes this concept further with the intent that we are to create spaces where the good news of Jesus is shared and cultivated. As I have been reading this book, I realize that we have been actively living out this idea, as we extend the gift of hospitality to others. As people have stayed with us, my goal has always been that people have felt this to be a sort of retreat and that they leave here refreshed. In the "everyday-ness" of our lives, as we entertain people with a meal, conversation, or games, the goal is that it always be God-honoring. Real ministry happens beyond the Church building on the weekend. It is a shared cup of coffee with a newly widowed friend. It's friendly (and competitive) card games with the neighbors up the street. It's inviting new church visitors for a warm home cooked meal and a chance to share about themselves. It's a lifestyle that is others-oriented, the exact same kind of life that Jesus lived here on this earth and examplified for us to emulate.

"Serving Jesus by serving others" is one of Dave's favorite sayings and it is always reflected in his prayers. Remembering how blessed we are, makes that idea of serving others more natural to try and live out. We are blessed to be a blessing...isn't our Heavenly Father good?!

WHATEVER

In past years, the term, "whatever" has had a negative connotation. The Cambridge dictionary defines it as something that, "doesn't matter, is of no importance". As I continue to grow in my Christian walk, the term "whatever", is becoming more and more the way I respond to things, but not in the negative.

As someone who is wired towards emotional responses, I have lived a lot of my life reacting to situations and having a knee jerk reaction. God in His infinite wisdom, saw fit to yoke me with "Mr Logic & Reason"; in our premarital counseling, we discovered how different we are in the spectrum of emotion and logic, on opposite ends in fact! It took many years for us to balance one other out, each bringing a different perspective on life; I don't immediately react to things and Dave has become more sensitive to other people's feelings.

The Message translation of Philippians 4:8, explains this verse beautifully.

"Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." Philippians 4:8

Some days I am successful in allowing the Holy Spirit to clamp His hand over my mouth giving me time to think twice on how I will respond. On unsuccessful days, my initial reaction is eye rolling and sarcasm. I used to tell our children that "just because you can, doesn't mean you should." This could be applied to many different scenarios, from the clothing you might wear, to the words you speak, to what you post on social media. It is so easy to crush a person's spirit by saying hurtful things. Honesty is important, but so is the delivery of the words you speak. Again, the Message translation from Proverbs, (the book of wisdom), states,

"Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose." Proverbs 18:21

In this journey of sanctification, which is a churchy word meaning to become more and more Christ-like, how fitting that the Holy Spirit gently guides and tames our tongues. Our Pastor back in Texas used to say, "God loves us right where we are but He loves us too much to leave us there." If that isn't the blessed life, then I don't know what is!

PRAYER

For so many years, I would say that prayer was not my strong suit, that I wasn't any good at it. I would read James 5:16 which says, "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." Immediately, the enemy would say, "WELL, that leaves you out!" I knew how much I had messed up and was as far from righteous as one could be. Then, I would tell myself, "God's going to do what He wants to anyway, so what's the point?" I was actually MISSING the entire point of that verse! I believed that God moving on my behalf, or others I prayed for, was completely dependent upon me!

That was a lie that the enemy had convinced me to believe. Of course, he wanted me to throw up my hands in defeat and think that it's only strong Christians who are the ones God would listen to. I think of all the time I wasted being ineffective in God's kingdom and how I just rolled over and took the lazy way out. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit pointed out something that is the key to James 5:16.

In God's eyes, I am that righteous person! When He sees me, He is looking at the righteousness of Christ that I'm covered in. I'm not standing in my own efforts because they will never measure up, instead, I'm standing in the One who has made me righteous by his death and resurrection. While I was immediately liberated from my carnal thinking, I was also angry with the devil and disappointed in myself that I could be so easily convinced of a lie. I suppose it's why I feel passionate about prayer now!

A few years ago, I read the book, "FERVENT" by Priscilla Shirer and it completely transformed how I look at prayer. Now, I pray Scripture when I go before the Lord. Not only do I worship Him with what Scripture tells us about who He is but I also pray His promises that He has declared over me. I am slowly learning the names of God and I use those titles as I pray. Jehovah Nissi is a favorite, "God is my banner", He fights our battles on our behalf.

I came up with the idea of a prayer wall after seeing the movie, "War Room", a couple of years ago. The door to my craft room over the garage is metal so I purchased magnetic clips and picture frames to attach to it. I have photographs and index notes to remind me to be proactive in my prayer life. My craft room is is my prayer closet; it's where I listen to my praise and worship music, do my Bible Study and intercede for myself and others. I have met with the Lord there more times than I can count, for me it is holy ground.

The Living God meets with me and we fellowship, my life is blessed beyond what I can comprehend!

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18

PROVISION

For all of my Christian walk, I have been aware of the word, provision. I have seen God’s faithfulness in providing for me whether it is for my physical needs, wisdom, direction, protection, faith, strength, encouragement…the list goes on.

Jesus told His disciples that God provides for the sparrows and that they were even more precious to Him; why wouldn’t He take care of them as well?

But how do you deal with disappointment? We’ve all experienced it.

The lab report wasn’t what we had hoped for. The job we thought was perfect, didn’t come through. That promising relationship fell apart. The dream we were so excited about, is dashed and crashes to the ground. People we counted on, let us down. Loved ones die too early. It’s often hard for us to see that God provides for us when the bottom drops out and we’re left standing there holding the broken pieces. When we're hurting that deeply, we question where He is, and wonder if He even cares.

I've been walking with the Lord almost 43 years and there are still times when I wonder why God allows the things that He does. In most things, after time passes, I'm allowed to see how God's way was clearly the best way. Other times, He gives me no explanation, and I just have to trust, that "His ways are not my ways". God's faithfulness to me isn't conditional, it's not determined by how intimately I am walking with Him at the time, and thank goodness for that! God's character is absolute and never changes; unlike the world we live in today where people determine their own truth, which is usually dependent on society or their own feelings. The Old Testament Prophet, Jeremiah knew that "the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" How blessed we are to have a road map to true happiness and joy, that we are not left to navigate our way through this life relying on our own abilities.

King David tells us in Psalm 34, to “taste & see, that the Lord is good.” It's during those times when God appears to be silent that I choose to remember how good and faithful He has been to me in the past. God is not required to prove Himself to me and yet He does just that. Many years ago, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that my testimony is not limited to that day on a calendar when I surrendered my life to Jesus and gave Him permission to be in charge. Instead, my testimony is a living, daily experience, of how the God of the universe walks beside me and guides me into a better way to live. While the book of Revelation deals with future things, the verse, "And they overcame him, by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony;" is applicable for today. I am an overcomer because of the blood of Jesus and my testimony, (those God encounters/experiences) remind me that God has not forsaken me.

I have hope and joy, even when things are hard, and that means I am indeed truly blessed.

MADE NEW

Have you ever felt like you didn’t measure up? Like your past mistakes have defined who you are, and that there is no value attached to you? Have you believed that the lies spoken over you or whispered in your ear even, have weight to them? I understand all too well how the enemy of my soul uses condemnation to paralyze me.

I remember as a child questioning my worth. I never felt pretty enough, smart enough, slim enough…somehow in my mind, I was always lacking. As I grew older, those feelings of low self-esteem and insecurity influenced the decisions I made. I craved attention and approval, like most people do that feel inadequate. At that time, I did not know the One who created me and knew me better than I knew myself; the One who delights in me, desired a relationship with me. I grew up religious, but I had no relationship.

God pursued me from the time I was 9 years old when the Holy Spirit stirred my heart at a Billy Graham Crusade. I sometimes wonder if my life would have looked differently had I been allowed to go forward and receive Christ as my Lord and Savior? It’s possible, but I don’t camp out there because it’s enough for me to have recognized “God’s faithful loving kindness, the love that never let’s go”, throughout my life…HESED.

Even after I said yes to Jesus at the age of 21, I still dealt with these feelings about myself. For some who come to Christ, there is an instantaneous deliverance from the things that hold us in bondage. For myself, it was a process that took years, decades even, to come to terms with. At the right time, God had to deal with the woundedness of my past, before He could address the lies that I had chosen to believe in my present. God delivered me from bitterness and resentment, made me whole and healthy, and He gave me a new identity.

That healing transformed me as well as, every relationship in my life. But even after that, there was a spirit of condemnation that hung over me. It would rear its ugliness in the dead of night, awakening me, weighing down my chest and reminding me of all my failures. Like clockwork at 3AM, it would begin an endless loop of accusation. I would lie awake, cry bitter tears and hate myself; I even began to dread going to bed knowing what the night would bring.

One night, in desperation, I cried out, 2 Corinthians 5:17,

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come.”

IMMEDIATELY, the weight lifted from me, and I had the physical confirmation that the name of Jesus has power within it. I remember feeling overwhelmed by His presence and the comfort His presence gave me. Many times, after that, I would still be awakened in the middle of the night, but that Scripture became my anthem and every single time, the enemy fled. Before this encounter, I had not comprehended that when Jesus delivered Himself up for my salvation, He died not only to give me new life for eternity, my future, but also new life for my present.

I think I had to experience all of that to have the gratitude I have today. It also taught me the importance of knowing Scripture and memorizing it. My heart’s desire is to be a student of the Word.

Now I can truly say, that this life is indeed blessed.

FRONT PORCH SITTIN'

I've been on a hiatus from blogging for a few years now. I still keep a journal, but I've let my retired lifestyle go its own way and I just haven't made time for it. So, I decided to create a new blog for some new, and some not so new, thoughts.

Earlier this week, I was sitting on the front porch and enjoying the Montana life here in the mountains. The Lilac bushes are in bloom and the Hummingbirds and Tiger Swallowtails are hovering all over the flowers. It's been breezy with delightful temperatures and it stays light out until 10 PM. Along with those breezes, the Pine tree pollen has left it's mark on every possible surface imaginable. Now that it has peaked, I removed all the pillows and cushions from the porch furniture and washed them. I also moved the furniture into the yard and gave it a thorough washing with the power washer our son-in-law gave Dave a couple of years ago. I swept and used the leaf blower on the porch and now it is ready for everyone to "sit a spell" and get their relaxation on.

Years ago, not long after we bought the house, we had our contractor friend redo the porch since the concrete was crumbling. He did some other work, like moving the meter box and what we wound up with, was basically another living area. It's a peaceful spot and even in winter, we will sit out there when we are taking a break from snow shoveling and snow blowing.

Besides reading out there, Dave and I will just sit and listen to the birds, have a conversation with each other as well as talk on the phone, since our cell reception has steadily gotten worse this last year. A couple of years ago, Dave installed bat boxes and if we are out there early enough in the summer with our coffee, we will see them swooping and darting through the yard and even over our heads as we sit on the porch. The Hummingbirds will buzz us as they come into the feeders or the hanging baskets and chase each other around the yard. We will watch deer come through the yard, and sometimes the mamas will bring their speckled babies with them. They will drink from the bird bath, munch on the grass and lie down and rest.

Such a good life we get to live...peace, tranquility and calm.

I'm walking in the things I once prayed for. This life is indeed blessed.

"That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever." Psalm 30:12